You Are Probably A Worthless Vessel Unless You’re Broken

That is a paradox when you first read it, but it’s true. If you need to carry water, then yes an unbroken vessel is best. But I am talking about you and me. The falsehood that we believe is that we need to be perfect and whole to be of any use to anyone or anything.

The real tragedy happens when we quit or feel unqualified only because we come face to face with our own brokenness. I can’t count the times I felt this over my lifetime.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I limped into the kitchen from my office to announce to my wife that I quit. I went on to bemoan how I wondered why I ever thought that I could be a writer and a podcaster. Nobody wants to hear what I have to say! I am too broken and messed up.

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Why Won’t Your Foster or Adopted Child Look You in the Eyes?

It Might Be the Key to Why They Resist Your Love

My son is just now beginning to look me in the eyes when I talk to him. He is almost seven and has been in our family for six years. Sometimes I gently hold his cheek and ask him to look at me. He seems to try, but he looks at the ceiling, to either side, glances at my eyes for a split second, then quickly looks away.

I feel sadness rather than anger or frustration. My father heart longs for his trust; for him to feel safe with me.

As I said, he is looking into my eyes now more than he ever has, and when he does, I try to hold his eyes for as long as he will let me.

Do you find it hard to look into someone else’s eyes?

To look fully into the eyes of another person takes vulnerable courage. It’s like we can see into the other person’s soul as they pear into ours.

Sometimes the reason a person won’t look you in the eye is they feel guilty or did something wrong. But more often the reason is…FEAR.

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3 Reasons We Need to Encourage Our Missionaries

3 Ways You Can Encourage A Missionary

Living six months in Thailand serving as volunteer missionaries with Danielle allowed me to see firsthand what life is like for many missionaries. Over the years I have had the pleasure of calling missionaries serving all over the world friend. These missionary friends come from different nations, different churches and sending agencies. Yet they all have something in common. They need encouragement.

Son of Encouragement

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Barnabas. His name means “son of encouragement”. Actually that wasn’t his birth name, but he was such an encourager it became his name.

I love this passage in Acts 11 as it’s read in the Message bible. It not only describes Barnabas, but also gives us a great definition of encouragement:

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Dad to Dad Series Introduction [Podcast 026]

Why it Is Important that We Fully Engage as Foster and Adoptive Dads

I am introducing a new podcast series I am calling Dad to Dad. While attending the CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans) Summit earlier this year, Amy Holman, who ran the bookstore at the summit, suggested that I create some podcast episodes directed toward other foster and adoptive dads. I loved the idea.

Our wives tend to do a better job of seeking support and encouragement where we men often try to handle it ourselves. We aren’t always comfortable sharing with others, especially when it reveals a perceived weakness or failure.

I hope that the Dad to Dad episodes will give foster and adoptive dads some support, encouragement, and challenge. I also hope that this isn’t just a one way conversation. I want you to dialogue with me, ask me questions, share your stories, even schedule a podcast interview with me.

To kick off this series, after introducing it, I touch on three reasons why I think it is important that we as fathers fully engage and embrace our role.

After you listen, let me hear from you. Also, share the podcast with your friends who are also foster or adoptive dads.

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Your Foster or Adopted Child Needs Space to Heal

6 Ways to Give Your Child Space

Summertime with a son is so much different from when we didn’t have any kids. When it was just Danielle and I , summer wasn’t much different than any other time of the year.

 

That is all different now that we have a six-year-old son. Danielle’s main summer job is thinking of ways to keep a very active boy busy. So we spend days at the swimming pool with friends, going out-of-state on a plane for the first time, vacation bible schools, sports camps, visits to family and friends in other towns. Did I leave anything out?

We easily could have signed our son up for a baseball league, a swim team, a soccer league, and gymnastics. Why not? It’s what American, middle-class families do these days. We don’t want our kids to miss out on anything in life. Or, for me at least, I don’t want to hear those words, “Daddy, I am bored!” Besides what will we post on social media if we don’t do all of it?

The thing is a busy schedule might not be the best thing for your foster or adopted child. Some would say it’s not good for any kid.

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Do You See Value in the Vulnerable and Broken?

You place value on someone when you consider them to be important and have worth. Intellectually you might place value on someone, but do your actions back that up?

Willing to explore this with me?

First of all, do you notice those who are vulnerable and broken? Do they have a name or are they just a group of people who need something.

I am going to get real with you for a few minutes if you will let me.

One reason we don’t bring the vulnerable and broken into our lives is that we don’t see the value in it. In other words, we don’t see how by doing so it will bring additional value to us. We are more concerned about how a relationship with them will put a drain on us. Well, there is a good chance it won’t add any value to your life.

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The Key to the Missionary Problem [Podcast 025]

In this episode I share my thoughts about this book, The Key to the Missionary Problem that I first read as I rode in the backseat of a small van traveling around a sub-tropical island in the South China sea.

Even though this book was written over 100 years ago by Andrew Murray, it is still very relevant to our generation, and here is why:

The church as not the obedience or the determination to attempt the task to proclaim the gospel within this generation…She does not seriously desire to proclaim the gospel in every country on the face of the earth. The Christians of our day are not unitedly resolved to accomplish it.Andrew Murray

Listen here to my thoughts about the Four Problems Andrew Murray states in his book:

I highly recommend this book! You can get it here: The Key to the Missionary Problem: A Passionate Call to Obedience in Action

If you like the podcast please click this link so you can subscribe and leave a Rating and Review: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/his-hands-his-feet-podcast/id1165097533?mt=2

Thank You!

Why Does Your Foster or Adopted Child Reject Your Love?

It is a scene that plays out in foster and adoptive families over and over. Parents tearfully share stories about the children they welcome into their families rejecting their love. It’s especially painful when, no matter the child’s age, they stiff-arm every effort a parent gives to help them feel loved and find healing.

This past Sunday the pastor at my church quoted from a book by Dr. David Benner—Surrender to Love: Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality (Spiritual Journey). First as I listened, I identified in my own life the ways I struggle with surrendering to love. Then I began to listen through the lens of my experience as a foster and adoptive dad.

I bought the book and began reading, and I can see clearly how many of my son’s actions—His high need for control; his overly cautious tendencies; his need to be with one of us all the time, yet struggling with trusting us with his deepest thoughts; His desire to be the center of attention and to always be right, the first, and the best—point to one thing.

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Mike McComb Interview: Missionary from Guatemala [Podcast 024]

Mike and Terri live in the mountains of Guatemala where they have raised all their children. As Mike says in the interview, he has lived longer in Guatemala than he lived in the U.S. I enjoy hearing stories like their’s. I am sure you will too.

Mike (far right) and his family

See below for some of the nuggets from the interview.

Show Notes

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Matt & Julie Kouri — Lessons Learned from Their Adoption Journey [Podcast 023]

In today’s episode, I interview Matt and Julie Kouri about their adoption journey. They have three children that came to their family through adoption. Below you can see in the show notes some of what we discuss.

Kouri Family

 

 

Show Notes

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