Adoption Changes a Child’s Destiny

You may have heard before that with every adoption there is loss. If a child needs a forever family, it is because something went very wrong. When a family adopts a child, the future of that child is forever altered.

When we began fostering our son, I don’t think I had a real grasp on the influence we had on his future, regardless whether he became a part of our forever family or not. But once we adopted him, I began to see that we had indeed changed his destiny.

(Our son) obviously has not inherited any physical genetics from Danielle or me, but his destiny has been completely altered by our family. What he now will inherit emotionally and spiritually is drastically different from what he would have inherited from his biological family.Adopting the Father's Heart

Destiny defined—The events that will necessarily happen to a person in the future.

Obviously an adopted child’s destiny is changed. But is it always better? Sadly, it’s not always. But when it is…wow what a difference.

Here are a few ways a child’s destiny might change:

Emotionally

Even though our son was only eight-months-old when CPS placed him with us, he had endured emotional trauma. Even though our family, like all families, has its own dysfunctional tendencies, we intentionally work on emotional health. Danielle and I have learned tons over the years from our own relationship. And we continue to learn how trauma affects a child from a hard place and how we can help the healing process.

Relationally

Many adopted children come from situations that lend no real opportunity for close, intimate relationships. Either they come from institutional care, serial foster homes, or extremely broken families.

When a child is adopted by a family dedicated to parenting that child, that child learns how to successfully relate to others.

My intention is to model that for my son. What does a relationship with God look like? My wife? Friends? I also intentionally am in community with others who can support that.

Physically

Too often an adopted child comes from a background of abuse. They might lack physical safety, food to eat, time to play, etc.

Our son will never have to worry about a safe place to sleep, whether he will have enough to eat, or if he can be a child and play. These simple truths allow him to grow at an age appropriate pace instead of have to learn how to protect and fend for himself.

Educationally

Children who come from broken and hard places naturally struggle in school. The trauma of abuse, neglect or abandonment makes it nearly impossible to focus on learning. Instead they focus on surviving.

When a child is adopted into a nurturing, healing family they can, over time, learn to trust that their felt-safety needs are taken care of enough so that they can return to learning.

Financially

Broken families usually are a mess financially too. That just goes hand in hand.

Families who adopt whether through foster care, domestic, or international are required to have their financial house in order. Finances are looked at closely when a home study is done.

Yes, anytime there is an adoption, loss was experienced.

But thankfully that is not the end of the story. More times than not, a destiny is changed for the better.

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Kennethcamp3d

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I am a longtime Austinite. Married my beautiful wife over 25 years ago. Adopted our son September 2012. Currently a writer and loving it. Previous jobs and careers include project management, missionary, and pastor. I enjoy sports (both watching and playing), traveling, reading, digging in dirt and hanging with my friends and family.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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4 thoughts on “Adoption Changes a Child’s Destiny

  1. This was very encouraging to read. I like that you mention there is pain and loss, but most adopted children do have a new chance at life.
    I write to support adoptive and foster parents and was recently ripped apart by adoptees because of an article I wrote. Many of those who are part of a certain adoptee movement say that adoption is not better for the child.
    I agree with your article and was REALLY glad a friend shared it on her Facebook page. This is really encouraging after a week of negativity over adoption.

    • Hi Tracy. Thanks for reading. I know this can be very sensitive especially for those intimately involved. I do think that the ideal for a child is to be raised in a biological family. Be if we are willing to be honest, that is not always possible or even the best or safest option. Even though when an adoption occurs it is because something went terribly wrong with the bio family, adoption, when done right, has a positive impact on that child…forever. Thanks for what you are doing!