When You Need to Pull Your Child Closer: Conversation with Danielle [Podcast 019]

Sometimes something triggers a fear or anxiety response in our children so strongly that it impacts how they interact with their environment. They can respond with uncontrollable anger, paralyzing fear, or an urge to run.

We might not always know what triggers that response, but we can know how to respond to the behavior. When we understand how trauma affects the brain and how some things cause a shift from the complex, thinking area of the brain into the protective part, we hopefully will handle the situation in a manner that helps our child feel safe again. And when they feel safe again, they can make rational, healthy decisions in response to their environment.

In this episode, Danielle sits down with me to discuss a recent series of events that has triggered a fear response from our son. We talk about what happened, how we handled it, and why we handled it the way we did. At the time of the recording, much of this is still occurring.

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3 Takeaways from the 2017 Future and A Hope Conference

I attended the Future and A Hope conference last Saturday in Austin, Texas. This is a conference that brings together those who advocate for vulnerable and at-risk children. Some who attend are just beginning to explore and discern what their role is.

Other families who attend are in the midst of parenting children that they foster or have adopted either through foster care, private domestic agencies, or international agencies.

One thing I noticed this year (this isn’t one of my takeaways) is that many attendees have at least a basic understanding what trauma informed care is. That speaks to the work of many in this field. Families, counselors, caseworkers, and others are now speaking the same language more than ever. This is a good thing.

Ready for some takeaways?

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What Does A Wholistic Approach to Orphan Care Look Like? [Podcast 017]

An Interview with John Palmieri of World Orphans

In today’s podcast episode I interview John Palmieri with World Orphans. I met John a few months ago through a mutual friend. What I learned about World Orphans impressed me.

John and family fun photo!

If you are like me, you probably think that World Orphans is another organization that helps families adopt internationally. However, World Orphans, as you will hear in the interview, focuses on strengthening families and communities across the world.

Show Notes

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Taking A Closer Look at Empowerment—A TBRI Principle

Do you get the idea that it’s good to empower your child but struggle with exactly how to do it? How do you find that balance of empowering yet remaining in control?

Trust-Based Relational Intervention, or TBRI, is becoming the standard for connected parenting. Schools, Child Protective Services, counselors, parents, and others recognize this and are applying these principles in their work and families.

I posted a blog a couple of years ago, Three Principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention, that still gets a lot of traffic. Basically, the three principles are Empowerment, Connection, and Correction. If you want a quick overview of TBRI, please check out that blog post HERE.

Over the next few weeks I will post a blog digging a little deeper into each of the three TBRI principles sharing not only what I have learned about each, but some of my personal experience as I attempt to apply the principles to our family.

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Find One Reason to Say Yes. An Interview with Jason Johnson. [Podcast 013]

I began following Jason Johnson’s blog a few years ago when a mutual friend told me about his site. I appreciate Jason’s practical approach to foster care and adoption. His communication style cuts straight to the heart of the matter whether you are considering becoming a foster or adoptive parent or if you already have children from a hard place in your home.

Jason Johnson

I wanted to get to know Jason a little better and give you the same opportunity.

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Our Son’s Struggle to Attach [Podcast 012]

Attachment between a child and his or her parents is powerful. How healthy that attachment is will determine how healthy all other relationships are and will be.

Usually when a child comes into a family from foster care or through adoption, they aren’t able to attach easily. This is true regardless of their age.

In today’s podcast episode, Danielle and I openly share about not only how it was hard for our son to attach to Danielle, but also how Danielle felt about the struggle.

Here are a few of the things we touch on…

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7 Ways You Are Making Parenting A Foster or Adopted Child Hard

Parenting might be the hardest thing in the world. And if you bring a child into your home who isn’t your biological child and is dealing with all kinds of wounds, and you just raised the bar.

Many times we enter into a relationship with a wounded child and think that we can parent them just like we do or would parent a biological child. It simply isn’t true.

I know some foster or adoptive parents don’t deal with challenges with the children that they have brought into their home. However, most do. And about the time you think you have overcome those challenges, other stuff comes to the surface, or you enter into another season of life, or the dynamics of your home changes.

It is enough to make a foster or adoptive parent wonder about their own sanity. If you aren’t a foster or adoptive parent, I am not exaggerating.

What I have seen in my own parenting, and in others, is that we, most of the time unintentionally, make our parenting harder than it needs to be.

Here are 7 ways we tend to make parenting harder:

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Circle of Security: An Interview with Suzette Lamb [Podcast 009]

I talk a lot about attachment in my book, Foster and Adoptive Parenting: Authentic Stories that Will Inspire and Encourage Parenting with Connection. One of the best models I have seen is called the Circle of Security (COS).

In today’s podcast episode, I interview Suzette Lamb who is a trained COS lecturer. I have had the privilege to hear Suzette speak in person a few times, and I always enjoy her passion and her style of communication.

In this episode you will hear the following:

  • A brief history of the Circle of Security.
  • How this model applies to every parent/child relationship.
  • Why it is important for us to raise children who have autonomy within relatedness and relatedness within their autonomy

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Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Processing Needs [Podcast Episode 008]

Interview with Marti Smith

I didn’t know that sensory processing disorder existed until I began fostering my son. I noticed that some of his behavior was strange, such as, licking all kinds of surfaces like table tops, blankets, even the top of my bald head.

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I also wondered why in some environments he spun completely out of control, jumping around, yelling, bouncing off walls and people. Then I learned about sensory input. I also learned that we all struggle with sensory input at some level. Now I understood myself better too.

In today’s podcast episode, I discuss with occupational therapist, Marti Smith, about how we as parents can not only recognize our child’s sensory processing needs, but also help them navigate them well.

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The Importance of Parental Self Care [Podcast Episode 007]

Interview with Robyn Gobbel

All too often a parent gets so focused on the well-being and health of their children that they neglect themselves. A parent feels that the needs of their child is more important than their own. They fail to recognize that taking care of themselves will ensure that they have what they need to parent their child well.

 

How can we as parents take care of ourselves when we have so many demands on our time, emotions, and mental energy so that we can be fully present for our kids?

Listen to my conversation with Robyn Gobbel, LCSW as we discuss this very important topic. Robyn is a licensed clinical social worker and physcho-therapist. She speaks and trains often on this subject. In this interview she not only helps us understand the importance of self care, but she also offers practical tips and ideas.

Want to learn more from Robyn? Here is where you can find more helpful resources and how to contact Robyn:

http://www.gobbelcounseling.com

Central Texas Attachment and Trauma Center – http://centraltexasattachmenttrauma.com