Considering Foster Care or Adoption?

If you are considering foster care or adoption, you probably have questions like: How much does it cost? What is a home study like? What kind of classes do I need to take?

All good questions, and you are probably overwhelmed.

Our Story

My wife and I can identify with you. Through the years we considered domestic and international adoption. And every time we ventured near I felt completely overwhelmed.

Twice friends approached us about domestic adoption. The process seemed complicated to me with hurdles and potential heartache. We didn’t pursue either opportunity.

When we lived in Thailand for six months in 2007, we decided we could check into adopting a Thai child. So, we went to the local orphanage to find out what we needed to do. Even though many children lived in the orphanage, we quickly learned that it was not an easy process, if not almost impossible for an American to adopt from Thailand.

Then in 2010 we decided to look into adopting through foster care. We had no idea where to begin. We sought out information about how to navigate the world of adopting through foster care.

In each case, we spent time learning how to adopt—domestically, internationally, and through foster care.

Why Do You Want to Foster or Adopt?

However, we hadn’t spent much time on why we wanted to adopt. Sure the obvious answer was that we wanted a child to call our own. But what were our motives and expectations? How would this decision affect our marriage and extended family? What would this decision cost us?

That is the objective of a new ebook available on Amazon—Respond to the Call to Care for Orphans: Book 1: Count the Cost.

If you are considering foster care or adoption, I want to help you think through this life-changing decision. So this book isn’t a how-to book. Odds are you are not convinced or sure yet that this journey is for you. That’s perfect! In fact, you just might decide to not foster or adopt after reading this book. Not a bad decision.

Does that sound strange to hear me say that since I am a strong advocate for foster care and adoption? Here is why I say that. The truth is that bringing a child into your home as a part of your family is a big decision that will have an effect on everyone involved. Your marriage. Your current children, whether they live at home or not. Your extended family. Your friends. This decision will affect everyone.

So, I urge you to count the cost.

But hold on a second, if you decide that you aren’t cut out or not ready to foster or adopt, you are not off the hook, at least in my humble but accurate opinion. We all are called to care for children who are without a family. Your role just might be a bit different. A book later in this series will look into ways you can support foster and adoptive parents and their children. So please read that book when it comes out. Or better yet, begin to research ways now you can support families who have adopted or foster children.

So, are you still here? I mean, are you still considering this life-altering decision? Then let me tell you more about what you will find in this book.

  • I will help you process through your expectations and motivations.
  • I will help you think through what you bring to the relationship.
  • I will share some things you should know before you bring a child into your home (compiled from many who have gone down this road)
  • If you are considering foster care or adopting through foster care, I will…
    • Help you understand a little what a foster child’s life is like
    • Give you a heads up about how some will react to your decision to foster.
  • I will wrap up by helping you understand how your decision will not only impact a child, but also the biological family.

I hope to help you avoid making a mistake. Or at least a decision that leaves you stressed out, burnt out, and ready to return the child to sender. That child isn’t a cute little puppy or kitten that you picked out at the local animal shelter that you can find a home for later if “things don’t work out.”

As traumatic as that might be for that animal, that should never happen to a child. But it does. While the goal in foster care is stability, it is common for a foster child to change homes multiple times.

Adopted children also experience this trauma. While it’s hard to track these statistics, adoptions that end in disruption (an adoption process that ends after the child is placed in the adoptive home but before the adoption is finalized) happen as often as 10-25% of the time. And adoptions that end in dissolution (an adoption in which the legal relationship between a parent and a child is severed after the adoption is legally finalized) happens 1-5% of the time. This includes adoption through foster care, domestic, and international agencies. (

Now that is trauma! 

This is why I once more urge you to count the cost of this decision.

So with that in mind, are you ready to explore the possibility that you are ready to bring a child into your family either temporarily or forever?

Get your copy today!

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I am a longtime Austinite. Married my beautiful wife over 25 years ago. Adopted our son September 2012. Currently a writer and loving it. Previous jobs and careers include project management, missionary, and pastor. I enjoy sports (both watching and playing), traveling, reading, digging in dirt and hanging with my friends and family.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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4 thoughts on “Considering Foster Care or Adoption?

  1. We have been blessed with four children who came to us through the local foster care system. Unfortunately we are one of those families who disrupted an adoption. I agree that you need to go into adoption with the thought of it being forever. It is very wise to count the cost but there are situations such as ours where you cannot always know how much trauma the child has experienced and then you need to make decisions you never dreamed you would be faced with. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thank you for sharing vulnerably. I imagine that was a heart wrenching decision. It’s important that those considering foster care and especially adoption most likely will never know everything that child has encountered. None of us want to discourage anyone from bringing a child with a trauma background into your family. We simply want you to know what you probably will face.