I invited my friend Marshall Lyles over to record a podcast as a part of the Dad to Dad series. To remind you, this series is me and another adoptive or foster dad talking about being a dad to a child from a hard place. We share the joys and challenges hoping that our conversation will encourage and equip you on this journey.
Many of you know Marshall as a counselor, mentor, teacher, and so on. But I asked Marshall to talk with me specifically as an adoptive dad which he enthusiastically embraced. Marshall is authentic (as you will hear from some of his self-deprecating stories) and shares with us as if we have been friends our entire lives.
Come listen in as Marshall and I share our hearts with you. I know you will enjoy our conversation.
1:35 I explain the struggles to get this podcast done. Marshall sets a goal to give me a lot of content that I have to edit.
3:40 I talk about the purpose of the Dad to Dad episodes.
4:45 Marshall recorded a previous episode with me about the attachment styles we as parents bring to parenting. You can listen to it HERE.
5:40 Marshall talks about his professional background, and what he is currently doing with his time…like making slime in his kitchen.
7:25 We get to hear about his wife, two children, and their dog Angel who apparently calls the shots in their family.
9:20 What are some challenges about being a foster or adoptive dad?
10:22 “Knowledge does not automatically translate into good parenting skills”
14:03 Priorities and expectations change, or need to change, when parenting a child from a hard place. And we can’t compare ourselves to other dads.
16:10 You can’t miss the “white sweat pants moment” metaphor that Marshall vulnerably shares.
19:50 It takes self-awareness and cultivated humility to remain under control and present when your child is in a total meltdown mode.
22:35 I ask Marshall about the teenage years. Marshall worked at building trust with his kids so that they would and could communicate their needs. Our challenge is in how we respond to what our children tell us.
26:50 Marshall gives great insight into what helps him father well.
28:10 As men we tend to talk about our struggles easier than what makes us sad or scared.
30:50 I love what Marshall says about reminding himself that he is still being parented. He analyzes how he is responding to his Heavenly Father.
31:55 We end the podcast with Marshall giving us dads a word of encouragement.
If you want to contact Marshall as a consultant, speaker, trainer, or just say hi here is his website where you can find out more and how to contact him:
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