For 23 years Mother’s Day around our house was bittersweet. In many ways we felt stuck in the role of children wishing our well-deserving moms a happy Mother’s Day. It was like we never had made the transition into adulthood ourselves of ever feeling the joy and anguish of having our own children.
We watched the second Sunday of May approach us each year with a sense of dread. Should we even attend church this year? All it does is stir the feelings of loss and defectiveness.
All that may sound melodramatic to you, but it doesn’t to anyone who has struggled with infertility or suffered the loss of an only child.
As I reached my late 40s I became resolved that I would never hear the words of a child calling for his or her mother in my home, my family. But my wife, Danielle, still longed for a child of her own. And God listened to the desires of her heart.
Our son is now five-years-old. He is extremely verbal, vocal, and expressive. He wakes up talking or screaming or, like this morning, singing. Sometimes his incessant chatter drives me, a mostly quiet, introspective person, batty. Other times he makes me laugh.
But what brings great joy to my heart and soul is hearing him call out to his mother. “Momma!” he calls with a sound in his voice reserved only for that word. It is a sound of endearment, need, longing, and love.
I am sure for a time my wife wondered if she would ever hear those words spoken in that way from our son. As do many adopted children, he struggled with attaching to Danielle. Many days ended with her crying herself to sleep because it didn’t really feel like she was his Momma.
But then something shifted in him. He finally felt safe enough to allow his heart to trust her. He seemed to understand that she was not going to reject him or abandon him.
And because of that, I love hearing my son say, “Momma!”
So as we approach Mother’s Day, because I know from personal experience that this day can be one of the toughest of the year, my heart is full of gratitude for the blessing of our son in our family. I am thankful for a wife who pours every ounce of herself into being a Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day Danielle! You are an amazing mother!
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