He Calms My Storm

Our son decided about six weeks ago that he needed to wake up each night between 11pm and 1am in a complete irrational fit of rage. Some nights it lasts for five minutes. Other nights it lasts for at least 30 minutes. Needless to say, Danielle and I have had many sleepless nights. This new unwanted routine is rocking our world.

The lack of sleep for our entire family began to wear us down. Frustration, impatience, anger, and meltdowns became the norm. And, that’s just talking about me!

A storm engulfed our home and we were taking on water. I focused on the storm before me. And the storm was causing me stress, anxiety, fear…and lack of rest.

One of our son’s favorite books is a one that has several Bible stories in it. One is based on Mark 4:35-40.

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them,“Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”Mark 4:35-40 ESV

Looking back over the past six weeks, I felt like one of the disciples in the boat with Jesus.

I had gotten in the boat with God on this orphan care journey. But now our entire family was in survival mode. Jesus was asleep. It didn’t matter if He was on the journey with us. He was not paying attention to the storm swirling around us!

I cried out to Jesus in anger, “Why are you letting us sink?!”

He stood up, rebuked the storm.

Sunday night was the first night in many weeks that our son did not wake up during the night in one of his rages. He did cry out, but my son allowed me to comfort him.

During the day on Monday, our son had one of his better days in weeks. Monday night—another night without a fit of rage.

I attribute that to God calming our storm.

I know God is asking me just as He did His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”

Yes, I do!

Well, not always. Help me in my lack of faith.

I don’t think Jesus’ question was a harsh one, even though I have heard it explained that way. I think He said it in a compassionate way.

Remember He quieted the storm first. So, it was completely quiet. Completely still. He didn’t need to yell or speak harshly.

It might have been even whispered in a tone of understanding and love.

You know, my response is just like the disciples.

Awe. Reverence. Fall on my face worship.

Who is this that even calms the storms in my life; in my family?

Truly He is worthy of my devotion and my faith.

Are you in the midst of a storm right now that leaves you wondering why He is asleep, not paying attention to your pending destruction? May I suggest crying out to Him.

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I am a longtime Austinite. Married my beautiful wife over 25 years ago. Adopted our son September 2012. Currently a writer and loving it. Previous jobs and careers include project management, missionary, and pastor. I enjoy sports (both watching and playing), traveling, reading, digging in dirt and hanging with my friends and family.

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4 thoughts on “He Calms My Storm

  1. Dearest Kenny,

    Your words, as always have comforted my broken and torn heart.
    My favorite uncle passed in March suddenly. He was like a daddy to me. I giant in my life.
    Because of my grief I have put off my test out for my Pilates License till Aug 7,8,9.
    I have grieved deeply the loss of such a strong man in my life.
    At the memorial, I was asked to speak. The church was full. I felt quite blessed to be able to stand up and speak words of honor over my uncle. Words of comfort and share stories.
    At the memorial, my mother not only rejected me but she was cruel to me. My brother did not speak to me me either.

    My mother had been texting me for over a year. She is mostly deaf and I was pleased that we were communicating in any form. My mom has been physically and verbally abusive all my life. But I have been diligent to strive to honor her, in spite of my son’s protest,
    as they watch the continually pain she has inflicted on me.

    Sunday, I received a text from my mom telling me to delete her , move on good by?
    Later- Dont text me – I wont read it. Have a good life?

    I felt like I had been slapped and kicked in the gut.

    I had done nothing to ellicite this response. Those are my ? not hers. Confused and hurt, cant even begin to describe the ache in my being.

    Next day, I receive an email full of lies, very demeaning and manipulative. Ending with “I love you, Mother” ??????????????

    I have sought out counsel from a strong godly mentor of 20 yrs. Her wisdom came from Prov 4, to guard my heart. To no longer have contact with my mother.

    My mother has rejected my other two sisters also, for no reason. My brother lives with her and he hates all of us with a rage.

    I have Always reached out to my Lord and He has never forsaken me. He has Always been right beside me.

    Thank you for reminding me today of that. I would love to talk to you.

  2. …Keneth, your post almost brings tears to my eyes. I so needed to read this. yes. I am in the storm. I had just asked my husband to pray with me as I see how quickly my heart fills with anger and mistrust in the face of adversity. I am no different than those guys in the boat, and I am SO GRATEFUL that Jesus is also the same one from that boat, the one who calms the storm and lovingly comforts us… I would like to share this post on my page Word For The Day. Maybe others need to read this as well. Thanks friend!- GR