Our son decided about six weeks ago that he needed to wake up each night between 11pm and 1am in a complete irrational fit of rage. Some nights it lasts for five minutes. Other nights it lasts for at least 30 minutes. Needless to say, Danielle and I have had many sleepless nights. This new unwanted routine is rocking our world.
The lack of sleep for our entire family began to wear us down. Frustration, impatience, anger, and meltdowns became the norm. And, that’s just talking about me!
A storm engulfed our home and we were taking on water. I focused on the storm before me. And the storm was causing me stress, anxiety, fear…and lack of rest.
One of our son’s favorite books is a one that has several Bible stories in it. One is based on Mark 4:35-40.
Looking back over the past six weeks, I felt like one of the disciples in the boat with Jesus.
I had gotten in the boat with God on this orphan care journey. But now our entire family was in survival mode. Jesus was asleep. It didn’t matter if He was on the journey with us. He was not paying attention to the storm swirling around us!
I cried out to Jesus in anger, “Why are you letting us sink?!”
He stood up, rebuked the storm.
Sunday night was the first night in many weeks that our son did not wake up during the night in one of his rages. He did cry out, but my son allowed me to comfort him.
During the day on Monday, our son had one of his better days in weeks. Monday night—another night without a fit of rage.
I attribute that to God calming our storm.
I know God is asking me just as He did His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”
Yes, I do!
Well, not always. Help me in my lack of faith.
I don’t think Jesus’ question was a harsh one, even though I have heard it explained that way. I think He said it in a compassionate way.
Remember He quieted the storm first. So, it was completely quiet. Completely still. He didn’t need to yell or speak harshly.
It might have been even whispered in a tone of understanding and love.
You know, my response is just like the disciples.
Awe. Reverence. Fall on my face worship.
Who is this that even calms the storms in my life; in my family?
Truly He is worthy of my devotion and my faith.