How to Have a Spiritual Retreat with Your Spouse


A spiritual retreat with just your spouse may seem strange or maybe even totally disastrous to you.  But, just maybe, this peaks someone’s interest.  Most married couples probably admit that they do not spend enough time together seeking God .  For most of us, our lives simply drift along the river of life.  We feel blessed if we do not hit any snags or go over any unexpected waterfalls along the way.

The beginning of 2011 was a challenging time for us.  I had left my job as a mission pastor, but I was unsure of what was next.  My wife and I really thought that we were going back overseas as missionaries.  But, God had redirected our path, at least temporarily.  We had just received our certification to foster and adopt in the state of Texas.  If we were not going back overseas, I needed to know what I was going to do with my time.

Some friends of ours offered the use of their lake house.  It was a perfect setting for us to get away from our routine so that we could listen to God and each other.  I mention this retreat briefly in my book, Adopting the Father’s Heart.

Please hear me, we had never done this before.  And, we need to do it again.  In fact, now would be a great time for us to spend some time like this again.

Here is some of what we did on our spiritual retreat:

  • Spent three days alone away from home.
  • Chose to fast for most of the three days.  We fasted from all media, except some worship music.  We only ate raw food – vegetables, fruit, and nuts.  We did not want to spend our time on preparing food.  We broke our fast with a late lunch at a restaurant on our last day.
  • We put together a schedule for the three days.  We included alone time, worship time together, discussion time, and recreation.
  • We gave ourselves assignments for our alone time.  Reflection of current state, dreams of what could be next, review our finances and relationship.
  • The idea was to spend some time preparing our hearts first.  Then, dream about what God had next for us.  Finally, address difficult areas.

Sound like fun yet?  I thought I would expound on one thing we did – Dream about what was next for us.  That was the main reason for us to spend this time together.

When we worked on this separately, the instruction was to keep all options open.  Nothing was too silly or outrageous.  At least we could write everything down and voice it.

Later that day we shared our ideas and wrote them on one piece of paper.  Here are a few things we wrote down:

  • Sell everything and travel around the world working with different mission organizations.
  • Move to the beach.
  • Go back to school.
  • Start a bakery.
  • Become an author.

Now you know why I began writing!  It still took me some time after that retreat to settle on writing, but I eventually arrived.

Question for you:  Have you and your spouse ever had a retreat like this?  Would your relationship/future benefit from a spiritual retreat?


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I am a longtime Austinite. Married my beautiful wife over 25 years ago. Adopted our son September 2012. Currently a writer and loving it. Previous jobs and careers include project management, missionary, and pastor. I enjoy sports (both watching and playing), traveling, reading, digging in dirt and hanging with my friends and family.

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4 thoughts on “How to Have a Spiritual Retreat with Your Spouse

  1. We have gone on several Coaches Outreach retreats in the past, and they are always amazing! Time alone with God, time with each other to reflect, discuss,.dream… And time in corporate worship and small groups. As much as I treasure these retreats, I would LOVE a more focused time alone together-just the two of us!!! I would love to make this a reality in. the near future! Thanks so much for sharing.

    • I have heard great things about Coach’s Outreach. I agree with you that retreats like that are priceless. As you know, we have to be intentional to spend time with our spouse. Retreats are great way to intensify the time together. This is true whether it is just the two of you or with many other couples.
      God bless your family, Trish.

    • Hello Mike! It is good to reconnect with you.
      I assume that you are referring to the ideas we wrote down. We had many others that were just as outlandish. That was the idea. We did not want to automatically dismiss an idea just because it sounded too crazy or impossible. It helped us dream and think creatively.
      I hope to hear from you again. Thanks for reading!