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Who Else Wants Time to Stand Still?

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The past three weeks felt like a time warp of sorts as I attended a few graduation parties and ceremonies. I know the parents of the graduates wonder where the time has gone.

 

By: wrightbrosfan

 

I also saw the wedding of my nephew a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I have known him since the day he was born. I remember him screaming his head off as a baby. A few years later he was riding in my car as we ran some errands together. I told him a joke that he made even more funny.

I said, “Hey Jacob, do you know where ties come from?” “No uncle Kenny.” “They come from Thailand!”, I commented thinking I was pretty funny.

Laughter. A few quiet moments…”Hey uncle Kenny, do you know where trees come from?” “No Jacob, where do trees come from?” He shouted, “Treeland!”

Louder laughter!

Is it really possible that twenty years went by and my nephew is now married? OrĀ 10 years flew by that fast and my friends children are graduating from high school?

I notice this, look at my 2 1/2-year-old son, and realize it has already been two years since CPS placed himĀ in our home as a foster son. I know the next 10-20 years will get caught in that same time warp. I will wake up one morning and it will be his graduation day. Another day I will wake up and it will be his wedding day. God willing.

It is not that I want time to stand still.

What I really want is for the time to count. When the day comes that my son is graduating or getting married, I want to look back and remember time after time when we thrived not just survived.

I have to admit there are more than a few days where I feel like we only survive the day. Days that seem to last forever. Please Lord, replace the days of mere survival with days of thriving.

What an opportunity You have given us as parents to invest in our children for such a short window of time. Grant us wisdom and favor.

If you have children that are now in college or married, what advice do you have for me?

 

About the Author

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I am a longtime Austinite. Married my beautiful wife over 35 years ago. Adopted our son September 2012.
As a small business and nonprofit coach/consultant, I have found my sweet spot. I lean on my varied background of corporate, small business ownership, writing, and pastoring as I work to help small business owners and nonprofit founders build the business they want to have.


  • My boys aren’t quite to graduation and marriage yet, but time is certainly flying in our household. In two months we will have a middle schooler and a high schooler. Isaac’s Elementary years have absolutely zoomed by. I am very thankful that I was able to teach in the boys’ Elementary school for all but one of each of their years in Elementary. Just the once in awhile passing one another in the hallway, or bumping into each other at the library or waving to one another in the cafeteria has been a unique gift that I will forever be grateful for.

    Amazingly enough, as I decided this year to pursue teaching Spanish again for this coming Fall, God granted yet another unique opportunity. I will be teaching Introductory Spanish at Isaac’s middle school in the morning and Ian’s high school in the afternoon!

    All this to say, spend time with Luke…..just like you already do. You know, the playing in the floor with trains, or shooting baskets in the backyard or reading books. Cherish each minute with him, because the minutes will begin to pass faster, and faster until he is eventually graduating and getting married. You’re already doing it right. Just continue to love every passing minute with him.

  • You’re telling me! šŸ˜‰ My advice would be to be interested in what he’s interested in (even if you have to fake it!) He may have a passion for something that seems meaningless and bores you to tears, but spending time with him participating in whatever he likes shows him you value his presence. My husband didn’t have a whole lot in common with our two boys when they were kids, and he worked 12 hours a day and most Saturdays (and still does), but he always tried to spend time with them when he was home doing what they liked to do. I believe, as a result, that is why he is blessed with a close and comfortable relationship with them as adults now.

  • I wish I had spent more playtime with my kids. I spent more time trying to teach them how to be productive and successful adults than I spent enjoying them just being kids. You 3 all turned out great in spite of this young, inexperienced mother. God did a great job.

  • Your nephew claims he did not know Thailand was a country at the time… šŸ˜‰

    As a child of new empty nesters, I can tell you what means the most to me as I look back on our days gone by: sacrifices. I remember little things, like my dad showing up straight from work to my band concerts and my mom sitting through football games to watch my halftime performance. I also am grateful for the big things, their huge involvement in school (my mom volunteered and worked in our schools), their fostering our hobbies to great expense if needed (piano lessons and clarinet expenses for me, and club volleyball for my sister), and for sticking out through the struggles i had, and still do, with my health. As a child it meant costly medicine and weekly appointments, and still incurs quite a growing expense. It seems like something that all good parents would do, but their insistence for good treatment means a lot to me.

    I will say that I often feel I grew up too fast. For me, it was unavoidable. I graduated high school when I was 16, and probably would’ve finished sooner if my parents would have let me! With that, I say, let your little ones mature as THEY need to. Don’t force anything upon them if it’s not necessary. For instance: he’ll learn the basics about money with lessons on tithing and saving, but he doesn’t need to be concerned with paying the bills until right before he’s on his own. Things of that nature will come in time and when they are needed.

    Also, encourage lots of imaginary play, my family has such good memories to this day of all the crazy ideas my sister, cousin and I had. šŸ™‚

    • Kristina,
      Great advice and insight. It sounds like you are saying that providing a healthy environment to learn and play is important. I agree.

      Is Jacob saying that he actually remembers that conversation?

  • Confession time….I re-told that joke probably a hundred times. It was the only joke I could ever remember!

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