3 Reasons Providing High Structure and High Nurture Helps Children

Has anyone ever told you that you are too strict as a parent? Or is it the other extreme, and you notice the looks in your direction when you let your kid swing from the roof-high tree branch?

Sure, you know what you ought to do as a parent. You need to give your child both structure and nurture. Easy to know and say, yet it is the most challenging balancing act to pull off.

I know you have your reasons for whichever way you lean probably having something to do with how your parents raised you. 

But if we keep defaulting to one extreme or the other what does that do for our kids, especially ones that come from a hard place?

You probably have heard this before, but it is worth repeating:

4 Parenting Styles

• Authoritative—This seeks a balance between the child’s need for independence and the parents need for obedience. These parents are very nurturing and very structured.
• Permissive—This style is much more nurturing than structured. Often this style causes confusion for the child since expectations are lacking.
• Authoritarian— This is characterized by high structure and low nurture by parents.
• Uninvolved— An uninvolved parent provides barely any structure and doesn’t nurture hardly at all. This borders on neglect.

Do you see yourself in any of those? 

If you are wondering which one describes high structure and high nurture, it is the Authoritative approach. Earlier I mentioned that this is a challenging balance act. I think that is the misconception. We try to balance the two which results into a pendulum swing from one to the other. What a way to really confuse our kids with unpredictable parenting. 

What our kids need is all of both. They need both high structure and high nurture at the same time. A good question to ask is, "Am I maintaining a connection, or restoring it quickly, when I correct my child?" 

3 Reasons Providing High Structure and High Nurture Helps Our Kids